Ann McMaster - Life as It Is

Generating Fallow Time

I started this post as a completion of the "fallow" postings, and then got carried away by other things, so here is my last piece, at least for now, about fallow time.

My current thinking is that fallow time is just as important as productive time. It's a time for being internally receptive, allowing - allowing ideas, images, phrases, to bubble up from our heart, our innermost being ... or to bubble in from the universe.

There are lots of ways to generate fallow time. Writing is one of my ways - especially writing without a subject in mind - just whatever is happening or is on my mind. Or sometimes I start with a title that appeals to me, and somewhere along the way, it morphs into something else, requiring a change of title.

And while I don't think of myself as an artist (in the normal use of that word), I do like using charcoal and oil pastels on paper. Because I am not an 'artist' (having to create something of value to others), I have internal permission to express my feelings or my  'un-languaged' thoughts. Some of these 'pictures' are revelatory, some remain un-language-able, some are mystifying, and most seem to be satisfying somehow (even though I throw them away - they're 'done').

Then there is the story of Seymour Cray, the father of super-computing, who, when stuck on a knotty computer problem, would go into the hill behind his home, dig out this tunnel with a shovel, putting up the timbers to hold it in place. This physical activity would occupy his mind, so that the solution to the knotty problem could surface ... which it invariably did.

Alternatives - showering, recognizing shapes that clouds make - especially effective when doing this with a child, waiting for faeries to appear, creating vision boards, gardening, daydreaming, meditation of all kinds.

What's your favorite way?

Focused-Peripheral Vision

The last post got me thinking about possibility. When I'm focused on making something happen (or ensuring it does not happen), I lose my peripheral vision - my ability to see possibilities that do not exist within my focused perspective. For instance the time I was totally focused on saving the supplies in the canoe, by bailing water as fast and furiously as possible (with a rather tiny pail), while Gerald, with a wider perspective, simply moved the back of the canoe out from under the waterfall. 

The other side - how many times am I lulled into dormancy by supposed predictability? It is amazing to me, when working with some couples, how one of them is completely satisfied by their relationship, and the other is unhappy, wanting out of the relationship. The satisfied one is completely baffled by the unhappy one and has been asleep to all the signals being given by the unhappy one, because the signals are outside their scope ... which is usually the point of the unhappy one - not being seen or valued for who they are now.

I can see that focused vision has a point, as in getting things done in a short time frame OR clarity of vision that is in the future, but so clear as to be compelling - as in Nelson Mandela's vision for South Africa being a Rainbow Nation. I also see the advantage of peripheral vision as an encompassing context, allowing a holistic view, alive with possibility.

How do I keep from being captured by my task-oriented mind into focusing only on getting things done, especially if it diminishes my connection to my overall purpose for my life?  My current answer is to oscillate between the two - employ focused vision that serves my higher purposes AND make sure I stay tuned in to my ever evolving, holistic vision for myself, for the people in my life, and for the world itself.

Hanging out with my grandchildren seems to keep that perspective for me - being a part of their daily lives (focusing on eating, playing, sleeping) and seeing the world through their eyes - still ripe with possibility. So does hanging out with people who remind me of who I am and what I am about in my life.