Ann McMaster - Life as It Is

Paella - the TRUE Paella

Especially for Deedee Mitchell and Charles Price and Victor (Taste of Oregon): 

Yesterday, Felipe Gomez Ferrandiz drove us out of the city on a cold, softly rainy afternoon to the Spanish countryside ... to El Palmar (The Oasis), which is in the middle of vast rice fields. The purpose was to experience True Paella (pa A ya). It was ordered in advance, as it takes at least 2 hours to prepare. This restaurant, L’Establiment, known for its quality of food, is reputed to be The Place for traditional paella - a specialty of Valencia. Even Valencians come here to enjoy it.

The base of True Paella is a specific variety of rice (bomba), which comes from the surrounding fields that, when cooked, is about the size of a sesame seed, very small compared to rice I’m used to eating at home. It is served in a large round iron skillet and meant to be eaten straight from the skillet, scraping the bottom for the crusty bits (soccarat), mixing it with the uncrunchy bits - especially tasty. 

Traditional paella is cooked with rabbit (1 or 2 large chunks/person), chicken (same proportion), about half a dozen snails per person, broad beans (garrofo), and a local version of runner beans (judia tavella). Mix in rosemary and saffron. Bomba rice is especially absorbent and soaks up the flavor of the meat and veggies, and according to Felipe, leaves the meat rather tasteless. (I took Felipe’s word about that part. Rabbit??? Snails, no garlic?) 

What I can tell you is that paella made with this kind of rice and this mix of flavors is really, totally a gastronomic, tastebud delight. YUMMMMMMM.

PS  L'Establiment is right on a water channel that flows into the rice fields, as well as into La Albufera, a huge lake. Very scenic, cozy (fireplace) - a perfect place to be on a rainy winter day. Life is good.

 

 

Hopium

Hopium (hope-ee-um) - a new word I learned during a casual conversation with Tina Marie Jones.  As soon as she said it, I knew exACTly what she meant. I've experienced that drug personally and professionally. I just had never named it as such.

Addiction to hopium can happen to anyone - lovers, friends, parents, business people, sports people, professionals and wanna-be's in every arena. 

Hopium - a mental drug that dulls down everything I don't want to see and brightens up the least little detail that affirms what I DO want to see; and if there are no clues, I make it up to suit my best-case scenario. Symptoms: asking friends what They think; harboring secret doubts, but not telling anyone; defending myself/others to everyone else; exaggerating positive traits, excusing bad behavior, etc.

Example - I knew in my heart of hearts that this man was Mr. Right Now, and not Mr. Right (for me). BUT, he was so much of what I wanted in a relationship, and I was ready for The Relationship. My Reticular Activating System was true to my visualization and kicked to the curb all data that contradicted my fantasy. 

When hopium wears off and can no longer repel the relentless invasion of reality, there is usually a crash into utter despair, complete with accusations of being a fool, stupid, naive, etc. Then the usual fatal predictions of never having what I really want; and now I can't even have second best, etc.

Hopium - the drug of choice for millions of people (and millions of times!) 

(The cure - being awake and telling the truth, which can be painful in the short term, but ultimately relieving, empowering, and faithful.) 

 

Asking for What You Want

Many years ago, my friend and mentor, Ann Barnett (a world-class psychotherapist) told me that she was going dancing that night, and that she had already programmed her perfect dance partner. He was going to be tall and debonair, a fantastic dancer who loved dancing with her - and would do so all night. She was really excited about the evening.

That was the information that went into her Reticular Activating System. And, as is common, her RAS produced the dancing partner she requested. When I was inquiring the next day if the dance partner she sought actually showed up, she assured me that he certainly had.

The man was tall and debonair, a fantastic dancer who loved dancing with her --- all night. The one little request she forgot to program was regarding age. The debonair man was 80 years old - spry, and 80.

It's helpful to be really specific about what you want.

 

Choice point - Thanksgiving with Family vs More To Life in Spain

My choice - spending Thanksgiving Day with my family of 50+ members (8 kids can generate a lot of downline) .... or spend 10 days round trip to Madrid, training team and new students of the More To Life program in Spain.

Truthfully, in my heart of hearts, I really wanted to do both. I felt committed to both. I wished they weren't happening at the same time. But they were. So how do I choose? 

Usually I can trust my body to make those kinds of decisions - it has a 'knowing' that I trust (and ain't it about time?). In this case, no distinction was clear enough for me to read. When I talked to my daughter, I was pulled to stay home, plus it's my grandson's 3rd birthday. When I talked to Felipe and Marisa, I was pulled to go to Spain. That was getting me nowhere.

I finally settled down and went back to my purpose for my life - to be a change agent for good in the world. When I put it in that perspective, I could see that showing a roomful of people how they can change their lives in an ongoing way was definitely the way I want to go. Chase could care less whether he even has a birthday party or not. I'll see my family again at our Christmas gathering, get to meet my new nephew, pat the bellies of the two mothers-to-be, and generally catch up on all the news that I don't glean from facebook.

Whew! What a difference it made to be back in touch with my life purpose.  It changes every now and then. And it's up to me to stay current with the deepest part of me - the part that sources my every decision (when I'm in right relationship with myself).

PS  On Thanksgiving Day I intend to have a turkey paella.                                                            

PPS  The Spanish More To Life Weekend is November 25-27, 2011 in a beautiful residential venue - La Cristalera.       Spread the word!       (It's being conducted via simultaneous translation.)

Confirming Message from the Universe

A few days ago, my reactive mind had me entranced with mega-judgements about everyone and everything. NOTHING was right in my world - every committee, group, individual was in the cross-hairs of my contempt - mostly for their total and irredeemable dysfunctionality! Basically, a categorical melt-down.

Fortunately, my support partner, Diana Makens, was on the other end of this skype call, patiently and without any judgement on her part, typed it all up and later sent it to me via email. I was pretty cleaned out after vomiting up all that I had been storing. We did a reality check on some of the big judgements that were repeated often and vociferously during my tirade. I felt much calmer and warmer after that. 

My agreement was to complete the verification process (weeding out the lies) on each of my "claims." And then to write some truths about myself, about those "irredeemable others," and the "world of dysfunctionality" in which I had taken up residence. Diana's parting remark to me was, "You're probably going to be a bit embarrassed at some of your mindtalk." And verily I say unto you, she was correct!

The next day, Life decided to hammer the message home. I was in my little Prius, a big SUV in front of me with the back window squarely in front of my windshield. On the window of the SUV was a 6" high, 2' long bumper sticker which said,

OK! I got it! Again!

PS If the bumper sticker were more accurate, it would say,"We all have moments of dysfunctionality, get over it." And I was certainly having mine that day.

 

The Art of Joyful Living - November 11-13 - Houston, TX

This course was created by Dr. Brad Brown while he was ironing the shirt in which his son was about to be buried. In the middle of this act of service to his son, a whole different way of living in this unpredictable world of highs and lows came to him.

Being who he was, he documented his own journey from unbearable grief to his then-current state of gratitude, feeling physical joy for the gift of his son in his life. This was not a head trip, but a visceral movement of energy through his body. He tested the process on other events in his life - especially events that would normally have snagged his ability to express joy. 

Brad was exceptionally artful in creating courses that allowed others to experience this transition from impotence/outrage to the kind of peace of mind/heart that only comes from being in right relationship to Life As It Is.

This particular course - The Art of Joyful Living focuses specifically on raising the bar in one's ability to be "in joy" - light-hearted, creative, easy joy -  as well as transforming those unwanted, unacceptable times that occur in everyone's life into a genuine surrender of ego and the resultant wonder and appreciation for all that is on offer ... for everyone.

For more information, call the Houston Center - 713-838-1100.

PS  It is only open to people who have had The More To Life Weekend.

 

W. C. Story - 85 years young

W.C. heard me on the radio when I was touting the first More To Life Weekend in Houston (aka Life Training back then), pulled over to a pay phone (1982), called in and registered for the course right then. He was 54.

We have continued to be friends, occasionally having lunch at "our place" - Souper Salad. Having known W.C. for the last almost-30 years, I never cease to be amazed at his relentless investigation into who he was, who he is and who he wants to be.

He is an avid researcher into his motiviations and making sense of the decisions he made, some of which were automatically based in the Kentucky culture in which he grew up, the matrix of beliefs handed down to him by his parents and the rural environment of his early years.

But he never let that stop him from exploring the rest of the world and finding out for himself what was what. He'a a no-nonsense, give-it-to-me-straight, now-what's-possible kind of a guy ... with a heart of gold.

In the last few years, he's visited Russia, conquered throat cancer, driven his big red truck to Kentucky for his high school reunion with friends with whom he is still close. He has researched the web for what might interest him, and has decided he wants to go back to school. He's alive and vital. I took this picture of him with my iPhone just last week.

He's a pursuer of the truth with a compassionate heart and an alert mind that is open to bringing forth his best to the world. He loves his children and surrounds himself with caring people.

I want to be like him when I grow up. 

 

 

 

Ruby Isabella Cloete - 18 months old

Justin sent me this picture of his daughter a few weeks ago. When I first saw it, I felt the prick of tears behind my eyes.  At first, I passed the emotion off as incidental, probably due to a combination of life-things - transient, not requiring exploration. 

However, the picture itself refused to be passed over. So I stayed with it, with Ruby, letting it/her affect me. For me, this child, in this moment, captures the precious innocence inside us all - the underground, ever-present life-force that is a gift to us. It’s the part that is actually core to our essence - the birthplace of our dreams and the source of our lightness of being. 

Thank you, Ruby for this moment of self-remembering.

PS  Hopefully amongst all the pics from our childhood, there is at least one physical, if not a mental, image that captures our pure essence. I have a framed one of myself when I was about 2 years old. I keep it in my bedroom, as my personal reminder.

 

 

 

 

 

A Solitary Interlude

The other day I paused in the middle of my walk along Mayde Creek to sit on a concrete, square pipe jutting out from the side of the retaining wall at the end of the creek. The walking path was about 6’ above me and the surface of the water was about 4’ below me.  It was one of those gloriously sunny days with a balmy light breeze.  

When I first climbed down and onto the pipe, there was a flurry of water-plunking sounds, then stillness by the time I got to the edge of the pipe. 

The water level was very low due to the recent drought, so the reservoir was choked with plant life and literally hundreds of plastic and styrofoam bottles/cups, a couple of small footballs, a baseball and assorted other detritus fighting for space. 

At first I was indignant at the Immature Unconsciousness of Some People, planning a rather self-righteous campaign to clean up this abused piece of my world.  

So I sat with it awhile. And I breathed. And I sat and soaked in the vibes - all of the vibes - the rash of morning glory vines vibrant with purple flowers, the sound of cars rushing by, the feel of the breeze on my skin,  the smell of raw organic gases, the lush green of profuse vegetation, egrets flying across the creek, and little tiny water-things making rippling circles on the slough’s surface - life in its burgeoning, relentless intentionality.

A lot like my mind - amidst my own unconscious debris (automatic reactions, fear-driven beliefs, worn-out assumptions, etc.), my will and my spirit still seek the sun, the light of truth, the heart-borne desire to become who I AM and to make a difference. 

 

 

Entitlement, another set-to

Am I not entitled to a happy life? a loving relationship? a good job? a nice home/car? the current electronic gizmo? whatever you have that I want? whatever I see on TV that strikes my fancy? lawsuit money for accidents caused by my own stupidity/recklessness? The list is endless. And it's spread to our government in the form of grants for company bailouts, special deals for congressmen, etc.

I'm concerned that the notion of entitlement is more widespread and inculcated into the human psyche than is healthy. I remembered a time a few years ago, when I discovered this issue alive and well in my own world. My "entitlement mindtalk" went something like this: "I am doing "good" in the world, therefore I should be rewarded by an easy life, a good relationship, and endless respect. All this should flow to me, so that I can continue to do "good" in the world."

How I discovered this unconscious demand was that life WASN'T easy, my relationship sucked, and I didn't even have my own respect. And I was mad about that. "After all I've done for you (God), the LEAST you could do is make it easy for me to serve you. (And of course, what would make it easy for me to serve You is if you give me what I think I have to have in order to do that)."

OK, that was embarrassing. And since entitlement has come up as an issue that I am hooked by again, I am guessing there is yet another layer of "somehow I am owed a good life." (I can never remember who it was that promised me such a thing, but I am sure it was someone "in the know.")